The Call.

My Second Blog. I Swear A Lot.

How It All started, With One Old Friend And A Phone Call.

So there I am, still sat there night after night, still wishing I knew the secret to the secret. It's a good job I wasn't smoking weed at this point or I would have been totally head fucked all of the time, attempting to fathom out how your thoughts can bring you the 'stuff' you simply ask for. I was being told demand things from the Universe, be precise and you shall receive. I even considered "Believe and Receive" Tattoo across the back of my neck.

I was living it though and daily, at this point. Thanks to Del and his Secret CD. The non porn version.

I was putting into practice everything the book version told me to do. I spent such a long time after Del's visit ordering books, notepads and audibles, I was spouting 'The Secret' at work, sending emails to my colleagues and team every morning with a 'Secret' quote and anyone who was negative about anything "knew' nothing as far as the new me was concerned. Gratitude was everything as far as I was concerned and if your car broke down it was because the Universe was saving you from something worse...and I still believe it to this day!

I was basically an obsessed lunatic though. I even, joined a 'Secret' Society who held monthly meetings in Liverpool and we all sat in a big circle and told our 'sad and glad' stories. Betty was my favourite though, she was 67, totally deaf and such a wonderful woman.

Think It, Feel It, Receive It.

One sofa surfing evening, was particularly different, as I felt a very strange but really big positive shift in energy. Yet nothing had physically changed. My daily routine was still, beyond boring, I was still a slave to the bank, still dog walking at 5am, alone, and still watching shite TV, except I was just weirder now and wanted a tattoo for when I met Brad in Bali.

“Happiness is when, what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” by Mahatma Gandhi

So, I made the decision to go one step further and 'feel' it. I turned the TV off and literally asked the universe for the change I needed for my 'Desire list'.

It went 'something' like this..."Give me a sign, anything that I can do that will change my life"

I gave it a time frame because, that's what you're meant to do, be specific, be demanding yet grateful and asked for the miraculous lightening bolt, the all singing and dancing sign for the very next day please.

Then I said "Thank you" ten times over. You're meant to do that too, just like Ghandi did, while walking barefoot and nailing conscious awareness, more than any other human has attempted to do..

I then went back to the wine and my new favourite...Fakebook!

Literally, 5 minutes later and no bullshit here I saw a post from an old friend who was living in Spain. I recognised a lot of the faces, they were all in Marbella, having fun and looking super great, healthy and happy.

"Fucking Bastards", I thought...and immediately had that horrible empty gut feeling. Of not being worthy.

Now I know why I had that feeling, but back then I had no idea.

Still, I sent a lovely message to say how great everyone looked blah blah blah. Basically I meant don't forget about me....boohhoooo

I wasn't jealous of them, please don't get me wrong, I was pissed off at me, and only me, for fucking up MY life and sitting on my sofa, in my little cottage, bored every night hugging my two gorgeous hairy, Belgian Shepherds.

I miss them. RIP Brucey Bonus and Busta Rhymes.

At this point in my life I had no idea, OBVIOUSLY, the power of gratitude or the damage negative thoughts can do to ones life. I was still just a reader of the 'Secret' and not yet a veteran believer.

Now the reason, why, I noticed this particular post, was because 'Holly' my old friend was in the picture too.

Remember Holly from 'The Beginning? The bubbles not beer drinker? Yep her.

The Universe Came Through, I Shit You Not.

I woke the next morning, and did the usual ground hog day routine except it was Saturday, so I had time to sit and enjoy the morning rain, wind, cold coming in under the back door and stay wrapped in my dog walking scruffs, slurping hot mugs of tea, just like every Saturday.

I picked up my phone for company and turned FB on and saw I had a private message from Holly.

Now years ago when this happened a private message was cool, as it was usually from someone, you either went to school with or worked with, someone who was trying to reconnect with you because they liked you. So it was exciting, after all my life was pretty bloody dull at this point.

Back to Holly and her message....

She said "Hi Kate, how are you? It's been years? Where are you, in the UK still? Can I call you tomorrow?"

These days you check the message isn't a copy account and it isn't from a group of let's say Nigerians or Chinese sat in a cupboard getting paid beans for 16 hours hacking work and sending scam links...because let's face it that's all I get...scammers! Not that there aren't scammers in Spain or anywhere else in the world...please don't judge me I am just sharing my journey and this is in no way racist or any other ist!

What I did think all those years ago was Oooooohhhhhh How cool.

Of Course I said yes. I was happy she had reached out to me. So we arranged the call for lunch time the next day.

Painting Radiators And Skirting Boards

I lived in one of those old cottages you find 'up north' in the UK and I had planned to paint the kitchen that day. So, I sat on the floor with my phone next to me while happily painting away and singing along to meatloaf tunes, remembering some good times. .

Finally Holly called. It was so lovely to hear her voice after such a long time. That Yorkshire twang had never left her. We chatted for such a long time about her kids, her divorce and what I had 'not' done in the last few years. To be fair I was far more interested in her life as it was far more exciting than the list of endless catastrophic dates I had been on.

Who really wants to hear about the midget I lost in the grass, the Pakistani who had tattoo'd hair slash, East African with a machete in his car door, or the Stalker who tried to run me over..twice?

The conversation moved on to me and my 'job' and Holly asked me what I was doing working for the bank, what I wanted for my future, didn't I want to travel again? Have more money and time freedom etc etc etc. All the key MLM words you are 'meant' to use to create enthusiasm in the 'business' opportunity.

Holly told me in great detail about her MLM business and how very well she was doing living in Spain, travelling all over the world, earning shit loads of money and being hugely successful.

I was in awe. Just listening to someone who had freedom was wonderful, never mind the designer clothes I wasn't interested in that as I was craving freedom more than anything.

By the end of the conversation I had finished painting the skirting boards, plus the radiator, had two loo breaks, two mugs of tea and had agreed to fly out to Spain the very next weekend to a seminar to hear all about this amazing life changing business.

Holly, told me she was looking for a very 'Special' person, based in the UK, as she was expanding her International business over here and thought of me. She had been looking for a while.

Apparently, I would be perfect. She would mentor me, guide me, train me, support me, give me all the tools to use while building my own empire in the UK. She would be my sponsor and friend. It was also going to be so much fun....

At no point did I question this at all. Or question that she had only thought of me because I commented on the Facebook photo the day before. But then again the universe was at work and it brought people together for a reason.

I only heard, "Come to Spain", "Beach", and "Fun"

Within 2 days, I had organised, a flight for my mum to come to the UK to see her grandkids and stay in my house to look after my two dogs, a flight for me to Spain, and time off from being an Ant on the road for the bank.

It never honestly, clicked, till months later, that I had been 'pitched'.

I didn't care either, I was grateful to be shown a better way to live my life. Honestly.

I was happy to be in contact with my friend again. And more importantly, I was overjoyed at the prospect of giving up my job at the bank and being super wealthy within 12 months, travelling the world, meeting the man of my dreams and setting up a retreat called 'El Secreto' on a little island called Mallorca.

This was place was now in my brain, a place where everyone should go to find their own 'way' and ask the universe to provide whatever was on their list.

All this after only one phone conversation.

Flip fuckin flop.....That secret book is good.

I'm Off To Sunny Sunny Spain. Viva espana

There I am, sat at Holly's dining table, the day after I arrived and the day before the seminar. I was thinking that I wasn't too enthralled about the seminar now I was there. I was in the sunshine, gorgeous beaches, tanned men and cheap wine. I just wanted to see my old friend and find out what she was doing with this business. Not stuck in an air conditioned room all day, listening to a German lady, rabbit on about vitamins.

I didn't say a word though as I noticed the more I nodded the more erratic and excitable Holly became. She started to draw circles on a notepad, saying "3 tell 3" a lot, and showing me product books, talking base ingredients, getting her vitamins from the kitchen, shaking them in my face and finally dialling a number and handing me the phone while asking me to get my Visa out of of my purse.

All of which I actually did. Never questioning a thing because I had no actual fucking clue what had happened in the last 2 hours of my life. I just wanted some sun and a mini break with my friend. This was the freedom I meant..Brad was too just a pipe dream and unreachable for little me from smelly town.

I was now sat at the table and surrounded by white tubs, brochures, catalogues, notes, pens, a drawing from "Pay it forward" the movie, and my 'Pin' written in massive letters on one of the many pieces of paper. I also got a book that was apparently written by a very 'famous' lady, who I was to be introduced to later that day at the tennis club.

I still had no idea what I had bought.

I had spoken to someone on the phone who took my 'order', whatever the fuck that order was, and I was told to write down my 'pin'.

That was it I had spent the dog food money for the month on 'something' that was going to get me 'healthy and wealthy'. Apparently. Maybe I could feed them pasta for a while and certainly no wine guzzling on the sofa for a few weeks for me. Well, maybe I could stretch to a box or two.

Well, let's see I thought. I'd much sooner be on the beach and getting my blueish UK legs out....But, off to the Tennis club we went. Me clutching my book to be signed and Holly in her frilly knickers, tennis skirt, sun visor, and swinging her racket as she virtually skipped into the club, hugging everyone she passed them. She was obviously here a lot.

I was a little in awe again if I am honest.

An hour later I was sat alone, at a table having a coffee and reading the 'book' when in walked a lady I recognised.

It was the lady from the cover of the book. OMG I am on my own, What the shitting hell do I say to her......She came straight over to me, beaming a huge smile, wearing massive sunglasses, looking expensive but not showy and said 'Hello' my name is Ingrid.

"Hi, my name is Kate"

Disclaimer 1. 'This blog contains discriminatory content which some may find offensive'

Disclaimer 2. “This is a work of creative non-fiction. All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of the author’s memory. Some names and identifying features have been changed to protect the identity of certain parties. The author in no way represents any company, corporation, or brand, mentioned herein. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.”