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Event Disasters.

  • katiessam
  • Aug 30, 2022
  • 12 min read

Updated: Apr 8, 2024

My Eighth Blog. I Swear A Lot. This Blog Is One That I Wanted To Write To Share With You All As A Fun Trip Away Rather Like 'The Hangover Part 1'




Michelle and I were really enjoying the business, we were arranging meetings after our day jobs, calls to Holly via Viber as Whats App and Telegram weren't around then, weekend group meetings and house visits for her team all over the North West of the UK. I was determined to do as much as I could for her. At this point I hadn't heard the saying "Don't do for those that they can do for themselves."

I was all in, still super excited, totally consumed and determined to succeed massively with this company. I spent hours printing off folders for any team member that nodded in our direction, I drove across the county borders many a time to just have coffee with a prospect and getting home way after midnight, even if Michelle couldn't make it. I did so much more that really wasn't needed nor can I remember everything but I know it wasn't the correct thing to do or appreciated long term.

Another major thing I learn't during these early years was that people should come to you unless you are hosting an event in their area and then they come to the event. If you go to a prospects house for yourself or to help a team member who is new, or to their choice of venue near to their home then you are perceived automatically as 'selling something' and they feel as if they have the upper hand. For example "I have someone coming round tonight to sell me some vitamins", whereas if they come to you and they make the effort then they are looking to 'buy in' and will perceive it as "I'm going to meet someone who is super successful tonight about a new life changing business" and boom psychologically you are at a better advantage and you have the upper hand and the possibility of having someone work with you rather than just buy a tub of vitamins to get rid of you.

They're not cooking the dinner while you are talking to them from their sofa, bathing the kids or bringing in the washing because it's raining, screeching to little Johnny to take his football boots off and mopping up the mud from the kitchen floor, no they are with you in your environment at your invitation and are listening and focussed. Plus this way it's less time out of your day by not travelling and the sign up rate is far higher. That all said, I think from my experience over the years I prefer to speak to someone on the phone before I meet them, it saves a hell of a lot of time, confusion and when you do meet its a lot warmer as you know a little about them and they feel far more comfortable with you.


KISS Keep It Simple Stupid

Google say's"Systems should be as simple as possible". Wherever possible, complexity should be avoided in any system—as simplicity guarantees the greatest levels of user acceptance and interaction.

No shit Sherlock.

There are some, me included all those years ago who like to make the already round wheel square. Who think they know best. Don't bother. The leaders in your business are leaders because they have paved the way for you, they have done the hard work so you don't have to go through the epic fails, they have cut back the forest so you can see the trees..

Basically copy the right cat.


Holly called and said there was a meeting arranged in Spain at the same Golf Hotel I had been to, only a few months before and we should all go. It would be amazing for the team to see Ingrid in action and be inspired. Of course I thought so too. How brilliant would it be if everyone who went to Spain came back as focussed as I did the first time, in fact I didn't question it I presumed it would happen. I was in the no moan zone and everything will work out splendidly.

So Michelle and I got our heads together and invited as many people as possible to this weekend event in Spain only a few weeks away. Ingrid had very kindly donated one of her houses that was empty for a few of us to stay so we knew the numbers and confirmed with Holly a few days later there would be two Personal Trainers from London, a 'Lady' from Jamaica, a sex therapist from Dubai, a horse trainer from Bradford plus Michelle and I from the sunny North West. I hope to not get all mixed up.

What could possibly go wrong?






The First Day.


The flight to Spain wasn't particularly eventful but rather more insightful than anything else.

Michelle and I met at Liverpool's John Lennon airport and she was with her horse trainer friend Sally, who I hadn't met before but had spoken to on the phone. She seemed sort of friendly enough and we all got on ok. Now when I say that I actually mean she was hard work and I did not warm to this lady at all. I've never missed much from peoples energy and the vibe from Sally, well it was cold, odd and and so low that it was uncomfortable. My gut instinct isn't wrong in fact it's my strongest.

We landed on the beautiful Island of Mallorca and the flight from London was due in any minute with the other four ladies, again who I hadn't physically met before. We met up with Holly who was waiting for us at the arrivals gate and had a coffee all eager to meet new friends and get going to the Villa.

As soon as they walked through, I loved them on site as they were all smiles, positivity and high massive energy just bursting through those sliding doors. Kathy and Rosie were the PT's and dressed in gym gear to travel of course, and looked amazingly fit and healthy, they may as well be doing burpees through the arrival hall. 'Lady' Veronica was a beautiful tall woman in her mid 30's with a gorgeous South African accent, a big black afro and beautiful clear but dark almond eyes and lastly came Jackie the sex therapist who was extremely well dressed, polite and so very petite you just wanted to pick her up and put her in your pocket.


I'd hired a car for the three days so between Holly and I we filled our two cars and piled suitcases and our lovely team into them and headed to the Villa.

You know that nattering noise when excited women come together and talk over each other in such a lovely childish way? Well that was us. It was so nice to meet these new team members and start to get know them. Sally was quiet though.


We arrived at the Villa and it was lovely with plenty of room for us all with lots of bedrooms and the fridge was full of food and wine that Holly had bought in earlier. It was perfect.

We all started to get to know each other a little better, we drank a few glasses of wine, all helped in the kitchen to prepare some food and relaxed. Holly had invited some of the same business friends over to have a talk with us after dinner and to listen to their stories about how they started in the business.

"Lady' Veronica was already in her second outfit, walking round the dining table handing out her business cards and explaining to everyone who listened that she was writing a book, had lived in Scotland and had done so well in giving back to the community that the Scottish parliament had given her a 'Lady' title. She was not understanding it wasn't a business networking lunch, we all knew you could buy your 'Lady' title in Scotland and she shouldn't be pitching

The Personal Trainers were doing Burpees in the garden for fun, while drinking vodka shots, Jackie was reading a sex therapy book and announcing to everyone that most celebrity males had cock failure over 30, Michelle was locked in the downstairs bathroom talking to her fiance for over an hour making some rather odd noises and Sally was sat hugging a bottle of wine at the front door smoking 20 cigarettes, humming to herself and rocking back and forth.

While Holly and I were in the kitchen cleaning up and thinking what the actual fuck has happened.

Just a normal night anywhere...


I was staying at Holly's so we could catch up and allow the ladies some space to bond. So off we went home leaving everyone to it and thanking god to escape.





The Heavy Breather.

Holly and I arrived early at the house, maybe 7am and walked straight into the garden and saw one of the older members, Jim, who was invited the night before, sat on a yoga mat with the team facing him all sat on the grass all in a meditative state and relaxed.

Not at all what we were expecting. I thought we may have to wake them all up with an English fry up and mugs of tea while cleaning the ashtrays, wine glasses and possible sick.

Jim was talking very calmly through some breathing exercises, what it can do for you medically and physically and everyone was just totally mesmerised by him and his soft low deep voice. He was in his sixties and had one of the most amazing sculpted bodies I have ever seen from years of practicing Yoga. We walked slowly and quietly passed him and the team so as to not disturb anyone and into the open lounge area within the house. We saw Sally sat on her own and not even look up and say hello. She was on her phone and engrossed in a conversation.

Holly and I put the coffee pot on and laid the croissants out on the table we had earlier picked up from the bakery and went back outside to watch the close of the class, all of the time thanking the Universe that they were up and out of bed and sober.

Everyone was all flat on their backs with knees slightly bent and eyes closed, very quiet and calm, Jim asked them all to roll to their right sides and hug their knees for the final few minutes. Which they all did quietly and serenely, then roll to the left and to listen to the sounds of the birds and the ocean waves below, but just as they did that final roll Michelle let out the loudest noise from a body I had ever heard. It wasn't even a back end fart no it was a very loud and long front end one that kept going and going and she was laughing so much that everyone else joined in and were in hysterics as more and more kept popping out. She couldn't stop. Sounds I'll never forget. The sex therapist actually peed her posh pant leggings and hopped to the loo crossed legged, the PT's were laughing so hard they nearly choked on their vapes hanging around their necks and Lady Veronica was still sat in the same position all curled up trying to keep her head dress and wig from falling off and asking someone to help her stand up. Jim was fine though, he simply smiled and said it was all part of the breathing and possibly a lot of sex.

I disagree, there was nothing normal about that fanny fart.


The Meeting.

After the eventful morning and new clean knickers for some and hopefully Michelle too, we were finally at the Golf Hotel all ready to have an amazing day, learn from the best and just enjoy the afternoon.

I'm a herder by nature, probably a sheep dog in my past life, and try to organise everyone. The same as I did the Uni kids, so everyone had their books ready to sign, pens, entrance money, phones charged ready for photos and a list of who to speak to and who to take photos 'with', where to meet for lunch and what time.

Sally had no entrance money on her so Holly paid for her ticket, which was kind of her.

I can't say much more about the day apart from it was exactly the same as when I first went, Ingrid didn't change what she said, the order of the day, or the layout of the room. It went well and I looked around and everyone was smiling, clapping and happy to be there.



The Party.

That night was party night.

A buffet, DJ, guest speakers and members from all around the world, including some of the big bosses from the UK and Holland had flown in.

We all looked lovely, everyone had made an effort, we mingled in the reception and chatted away until we went in to the main room, again paying for our ticket at the entrance and again Sally had no money apparently so Holly paid.

I was on my best behaviour just sipping the wine very slowly, not like at home at all. I was talking to as many 'successful' members as I could, taking lots of photos of the team with people we had just met. I even had a dance or ten with some cool younger generation surfer vegan digital nomad types. They were fabulous.

They looked like fictitious Brad from Bali so why not.


The team were all mingling and drinking a lot, they were so excited and the long standing members were already calling them the "English Party Girls". Surrounding them with high 5's, butt bumps and big grins.

I noticed Sally go to the bar and pay with her credit card for two bottles of wine and then head to the cigarette machine and buy three packets of cigarettes. I was a little confused and put out to be honest but let it go and carried on mingling until I noticed she had disappeared.

I found her an hour later slumped outside on the front steps of the Golf Hotel rocking again, so I grabbed my car keys and tried not to make a scene and bundled her in the hire car and drove her home, carrying her into the house and putting her to bed.

I went straight back to the party and told everyone she was fine. There was obviously something wrong with her and I would possibly never know what. As long as she was safe and snoring away at home in bed.


The Morning After.

We all stayed at the villa that night and stayed up until the very early hours partying and drinking some more wine, it was a superb night.

When we woke, the PT's had been up for two hours, completed their star jumps, had a run, 100 burpees, and were dressed in leggings, cropped tops and were now lunge walking around the living room and garden for their glutes, shaking their veg and ginger shakes and swinging their pony tails as they passed telling us not to eat the toast as bread is the devil.

FUCK OFF I thought

Give me poached eggs on toast with real butter, salt and pepper, two mugs of tea and a litre of water please. Right now.


Sally was awake and dressed but still very quiet. I attempted to talk to her but she wouldn't speak.


That night we had to all fly home. Our flight was the first to leave and I had the hire car to pay for, fill with fuel, clean and take back. We said our goodbyes hugged a lot and off we drove to the airport.

I dropped Michelle fanny fart and Sally sour face off at departures.....my new internal names for them both and went to fill the car with fuel and return it.

Once I caught up with them in the airport Michelle was sat minding Sally's carry on bag. I asked where she was and Michelle said "at McDonalds". I looked up and saw her walking towards us with two duty free bags, and a paper McDonalds one while sucking a straw out of a chocolate milkshake. All happy with herself and finally smiling slightly she said she had bought her boyfriend some aftershave, herself some perfume and 200 cigarettes.

This from the girl who had no money to pay for her flight even, or the tickets for both the events but could buy wine, cigarettes perfume aftershave and McDonalds....

I couldn't look at her for the whole flight. I was outraged. The cheeky woman....

These days I am a lot calmer and wouldn't allow it to happen in the first instance...I would let it go because I now know the hardest part of Network Marketing is 'people' and I wouldn't let it enter my head apart from I would feel for them as they 'should' know better.

Back then I wanted to rip her horse training, wine guzzling head off. I was so mad but kept it to myself.


The Morale Of The Story

Expect people to be different. We all are and it's great that we are.

The tense honest conversation with Sally once we landed back in the UK upset me much more than it did her all those years ago. I was never going to change her mindset and neither her me. We were both very different and that's fine. We never spoke or saw each other again. I never knew what was wrong in her life but I hope whatever it was she is happier..

Work with everyone in your team if their energy is positive, and learn to love everyone for who they are. Even if you have a Sally Sour Face.



Disclaimer 1. 'This blog contains discriminatory content which some may find offensive'

Disclaimer 2. “This is a work of creative non-fiction. All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of the author’s memory. Some names and identifying features have been changed to protect the identity of certain parties. The author in no way represents any company, corporation, or brand, mentioned herein. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.”











 
 
 

Comments


AC6C356E-329D-4C09-AA1D-5941753E92D7.jpeg

Hi, thanks for popping in. 

I certainly, hope you enjoy my MLM journey as much as I have. All of the events are true, some have fairy dust embellishments for comedy value. Some names have changed, and there are certainly some 'raw' details. Creating these blogs has been so much fun. I have wanted to share my private notes, for such, a long time. 

All my major fuck ups, some small wrong decisions, and a ton of giggles. Hopefully, you enjoy them and take note of what not to do, b ut still have your own fantastic experiences.  Please remember I mean no offensive to any race, colour, creed, religion, or height impaired people. Thanks, Kate.

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